Let me start by saying I am a loyal dog.
I was born and raised in Brooklyn NYC.
When you grow up in BK you learn a code of the street.
It’s seldom talked about but it’s in every tapestry of your surroundings at all times.
A few things you learn.
- You always stay loyal to your peoples
- You never snitch
- You always bring something to someone’s home when you go as a gift
- You don’t flick people off in your car driving unless you are looking to get into a fist fight at the stop light
Live by those things and chances are you will make it out unscathed.
Break those things and the consequences can be detrimental.
The problem in my own life was always this.
I was overly loyal to people.
People who weren’t loyal to me.
I was actually more loyal to them than to myself.
Being loyal to yourself is a given and healthy.
But growing up the way I did you are taught you need to be loyal to the pack, to the crew, to the neighborhood to the city or whatever other limits you put on your brain.
You grow up with a sense that loyalty lives in everything.
And that the code of the streets has something to do with the code of ethics in regular business.
It does not.
Meanwhile, these people or groups aren’t loyal to you.
People will stab you in the back, they will stab you in the front if they think they can get away with it.
In business and in war all is fair. It is a mindset I had trouble and still sometimes have trouble with to this day.
The reality is there are a smaller amount of people who are stand up people and loyal over the rest of the opportunists out there. Those people you should cherish and give them the world.
Some people will rob your ideas, and then parade them as their own.
They will take credit for your hard work. They will show your work and claim it’s theirs.
They will ask you for a lot and when you give them and it comes time for them to rehire you they don’t think with their heart but their wallet.
Some people are raised the way they were and there isn’t a right or wrong in this case, just what you deem to be morally correct or not.
I realized this was a form of self-sabotage.
It was a form of self-deprecation.
It was a form of veiled validation seeking.
It was a form of not getting the things I wanted in life because I had an excuse.
“I was loyal…”
I realized the most important person to be loyal to is myself.
Without that loyalty and trust to me, it hinders me as a person. Hinders my growth my ability to advance.
I have a duty to myself as you do as well to protect and defend our goals values and morals at ALL times.
If being overly loyal to others gets in the way of doing what’s best for yourself you have to do something else.
You must put yourself in a position to succeed.
Meaning this sense of loyalty is dysfunctional and incorrect.
It is really a way for you to make an excuse as to why you aren’t living the absolutely best life you can.
I know it was for me.
Now I am loyal to my family, close friends and those who show the same value in loyalty and extend as I do.